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Sunday, June 09, 2013 ISSUE #762

Nuts take over in Connecticut and DC

    COLUMBUS: Over the years, state legislatures have been known to pass bills that defy science and common sense. Well, last week the Connecticut legislature took a swipe at History.

    They passed a bill that says: forget the Wright Brothers, this is the home of the first airplane. It was piloted in 1901 by a fellow named Gustave Whitehead. They said, “Don’t be misled by history or any other unreliable source. Here’s the place where the first airplane took off.” This is by unanimous vote of the state legislature of Connecticut. Connecticut has been made the official site of the first airplane flight. Any airplane taking off from any other site was not official.

    So the Connecticut legislature has booted Orville and Wilbur out of the history books in favor of Gus. Don’t be surprised if next week they pass another bill claiming that old Gus also flew across the Atlantic two years before Lindbergh. Connecticut has historically been known as the Nutmeg State. From now on, we can leave off the meg.

    A young fellow with the National Security Agency said today that the NSA knows exactly who we talk to on the phone and for how long, and a lot of folks are shocked. But it’s no surprise; back in the old days of party line phones there was always one nosy neighbor who did the same thing. In fact, if the NSA is serious about preventing terrorist attacks, they should require that all phones be on a party line. That way there are no secret attacks. Think of the Boston Marathon bombers. No sooner would an Islamic terrorist hang up the phone and go out the front door than he would be clobbered over the head by a rolling pin and a broom.

    These revelations about the NSA keeping phone records and emails can come in handy for us men the next time a wife or teenager complains, “Nobody ever listens to me!”

    President Obama has named Susan Rice the new head of the NSA. Do we really want a person in charge of protecting our security who asks no questions and spouts whatever words are put in front of her? I guess when the leaders of Iran and North Korea tell her, “We don’t have any nuclear weapons,” she’ll take their word for it. 
    Our President met with the president of China this weekend in Santa Monica. Computer hacking and cyber stealing was a major topic for Obama. As he began to read aloud from his prepared script, the Chinese president interrupted, “Don’t bother, I already saw it. All 7 drafts.”

    The government announced they will sell the General Motors stock purchased four years ago. In that time, the stock market has almost doubled. But being a typical government operation, us taxpayers will lose $10 Billion on the deal.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
    "You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years."
WA #307, Nov. 11, 1928

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