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Sunday, April 14, 2013 ISSUE #755

 Guns, immigrants and a tax on rain

     Just when you thought no one could come up with something new to tax, here comes Maryland. The Governor decided to tax rain. Not all rain, just the rain that falls on concrete, asphalt and roofs that don’t leak. That’s quite a relief to farmers. They already pay a tax on their land which would be practically useless without rain.

    On the other hand, farmers and ranchers in Oklahoma and Texas would be delighted to pay a tax on rain if they could just get some. If those two state governments had to live on a rain tax they would be more broke than California. 

    This tax is gonna set Maryland back a hundred years. From sports stadiums to shopping centers to homeowners, they’ll all rip up their paved parking lots and driveways. From now on you’ll have to park your car on dirt to avoid the rain tax. When it rains, well, good luck getting your car out of the mud. But if that’s what it takes to please a governor, that’s a sacrifice we’ll have to make. 

    The argument over illegal immigrants (sorry, undocumented immigrants) would be easier to understand if we treated it like our home instead of our country. When you lock your doors at night it’s to keep out the “undocumented.” If someone wants to enter, they knock and you decide if you want to let ‘em in. It’s common sense.

    That brings us to guns. Chicago is the murder capital of the country, just like in the 1920s. I bet the cops could identify 90 percent of the criminals and gang members and confiscate their guns if the mayor would let ‘em. That would clean up the town and bring it back to civilization.

    Here’s another idea. When a woman gets a divorce the husband usually deserves it. And he’s lucky she didn’t just shoot him. So he should be happy to give up his guns along with alimony. She might even let him deduct a few dollars from the alimony check to buy meat with, since he can’t go hunting for it.

    The President is tickled the country is talking about immigration and guns instead of the economy. Jobs are stagnant. Tax rates are up. People are buying less. Until Washington gets serious and takes their foot off the brake pedal, they have decided to hunker down, save money and hope for better days ahead. You might say, “Yes, but the stock market is at a record high.” That’s right, but only because the Federal Reserve keeps blowing hot air into the financial balloon. Any time now it could bust.

    Australia watched “Breakfast at the Masters.” It took a playoff to decide who wears the green jacket. For us it was Sunday afternoon, but when Adam Scott won the Masters in Augusta, Georgia, it was Monday morning back home. Just think, at the end an Aussie had to beat an Angel from Argentina to win it.
Historic quote by Will Rogers:
    “The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than Golf has.”
WA #99, Nov. 2, 1924

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