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Thursday, July 25, 2002 ISSUE #238


HOYTVILLE, Ohio: Up here in this corner of Ohio the farmers are mighty disappointed. The weather just ain't cooperating with Congress at all.

See, back in May it rained every day, so corn didn't get planted till June. You know how optimistic farmers are, and this bunch ranks at the top. These are so optimistic they all vote Republican.

They figured with a good summer and a late frost, the good Lord would provide a fair number of bushels. With what they could raise, and whatever Congress voted to tack onto every bushel, they would get through the winter.

Only problem was, when it stopped raining, it STOPPED raining. The corn came up, but it's taken all summer to get knee high. You may wonder, why not irrigate? Well, California gets their water from Colorado, but these folks get theirs from the sky. Lake Erie is only fifty miles, but it's too far for a bucket brigade.

One fellow was asked, "why didn't you buy crop insurance?" "Well, it was raining so much this spring, I put every available dollar on flood insurance. I bet on the wrong disaster."

Twenty bushels to the acre, if they're lucky, won't draw much of a farm bill supplement. A lot of good folks started the year as big farmers, and may end it small. Kinda like Wall Street investors.

There is some good news this week. Art Linkletter is celebrating birthday number 90. I heard him say he started his first job in September, 1929. He was an office boy on Wall Street. So you see he survived that big crash a month later, and if he can do it, these farmers will, too.

Historical quote from Will Rogers:

"Some good news in the papers. It rained in the Middle West. Farmers are learning that the relief they get from the sky beats what they get from Washington." DT #2445, June 4, 1934

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