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Sunday, December 04, 2011 ISSUE #684

Wow, a $110 Billion Christmas gift
Dec. 4, 2011   

    COLUMBUS: President Obama is working on his Christmas gift list. He wants to give $110 Billion to American workers. He gave the same present last year when it was announced as a one-time special gift, but now he says it would be cruel to be any less charitable this year.

    He seems to be depending on the generosity of our millionaires to cover the cost, unless Senator Reid comes up with a better plan. Congress has to act fast though, before those millionaires spend the $110 Billion on Christmas presents. If the wealthy of this country foolishly spend their excess cash on elaborate presents, why they won’t have enough left to help out the President. This year their friends will have to get along with new socks and a necktie.

    The unemployment rate dropped to 8.6% as 120,000 found new jobs, which will give our President some relief for the holidays. The stock market is up, which will mean big bonuses for the brokers and more millionaires to contribute to the President’s Christmas fund.

    In the Middle East, the radical Muslim Brotherhood won an election in Egypt, Syrian protesters are being shot by the dictator, and Iran trashed the British Embassy. Maybe the safest places over there are Iraq and Afghanistan. 

    Herman Cain dropped out of the Presidential race. When Bill Clinton heard the news, he simply asked, "Why?" Is it irony that the same weekend Mr. Cain quit, Tiger Woods won his first golf tournament in two years?

    I’ll be in Minneapolis later this week. The folks there will teach me how to pronounce Minnesota, and I’ll try to teach them how to say Oologah. I hope to meet that Minnesota couple we hear so much about, Ole and Lena.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
    "A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some."
WA #535, March 26,1933

    "People have just got to get more used to debt. Let's all let the fellow we owe do the worrying and the U. S. will be the happiest land on earth." DT #2421, May 7, 1934

    "President Coolidge said save, and we did. And that brought on a Panic on Wall Street, for the more we save the less they got. And a Panic is better for us than it is for them, for we are more used to it. When Wall Street has a Panic the World knows it. When we have one only our stomachs know it. So there is less publicity in us having one. Wall Street can’t stand a Crisis, but we can lay right down by the side of one and go to sleep." Radio, March 30, 1930

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