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Sunday, March 29, 2009 ISSUE #544

Weekly Comments: Bankers tangle with taxpayers over Geithner's Trillion
#544 March 29, 2009

COLUMBUS: In Washington Mr. Geithner has the Treasury printing press running night and day. You know, when you set out to print a Trillion dollars in small bills, it takes awhile.

I don't know what he plans to do with all that money. I had someone help with the arithmetic and it comes out that if you divide that Trillion dollars among the hundred million taxpayers in this country, each one gets $10,000. I doubt anyone would turn it down, and they might spend enough to kinda stimulate the economy.

But before you start making a long shopping list, here's some news to jolt you back in your seat. This new tax on electricity from coal or oil is going to cost us over $0.6 Trillion. So unless you intend to live in the dark your share will cost you around $6000 of the $10,000.

Then here come the bankers. The big bankers say they have other plans for this Trillion dollars. They say, "We're the ones that need that money, not the taxpayer.". Of course, when the bankers had the money a few years ago they invested it in toxic assets. They didn't call them "toxic assets." No, they called them "affordable mortgages for people with no income." Or "higher limits on an unnecessary credit card."

In Nevada, the Legislature announced they don't want our nuclear waste after all. They let us spend billions and billions fixing up a hole in Yucca Mountain to store it in, and now they changed their mind. I would tell Nevada, "That's fine, you return the billions we invested in Nevada and we'll call it even. Otherwise, we'll take back Hoover Dam." There's probably legislators that don't want it either.

President Obama announced that the War on Terror has ended. From now on it's an "Overseas Contingency Operation". The world is waiting to hear what Osama Bin Ladin thinks of his new occupation, "Contingency Operative."

What we need is a contingency operation for the country, right here, not just overseas. We need a contingency for Mexican drug lords. And a contingency for higher oil prices and one for bankrupt banks. Obama even needs a contingency plan in case North Carolina loses next weekend.

Mrs. Obama has her own contingency operation: planting a garden. I think it's a good idea for the First Lady, and it sets an example for the country. She had some school children come and help dig up part of the White House lawn. The garden is about 30 feet by 40 feet, with plans for 55 kinds of vegetables, fruits and berries. She intends to provide vegetables for her family, the White House staff, and guests at official functions, plus donate to a soup kitchen and give some to the students doing the work. With that many mouths to feed, without Immaculate Intervention she's gonna need to plow up a few acres of the National Mall. (And by Immaculate Intervention, I do not mean help from her husband.) 
Historic quote from Will Rogers:
"You have a fine organization. I understand you have ten thousand here; and if you count the ones in the various federal prisons, it brings your total membership up to around thirty thousand." From a 1923 speech at a national convention of Bankers

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