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Sunday, April 20, 2008 ISSUE #497

Will suggests presidential campaign photo ops

#497, April 20, 2008

COLUMBUS: The most entertaining Presidential campaign since '24 rolls on. In Pennsylvania Senator Obama went bowling and Senator Clinton went out drinking. I saw her on television chugging a beer and a shot of whiskey, which shows you she has conceded the Baptist vote.

What do you suppose they will do as they move on to the other states? In North Carolina, don't be surprised to catch Hillary puffing on a Camel. And Barack may counter with a cheek full of Mail Pouch.

In Kentucky they'll both go horseback riding. In West Virginia one of 'em will eat at a ramp dinner to woo the voters, and the other will counter with an all-night coon hunt. You know, there's no better time to reach a coon hunter on a cell phone than at 3:00 a.m.

In Indiana they can visit a farmer planting corn. If the weather's fine, they better stand at the edge of the field and wave as he goes by, because no farmer wants to be interrupted at planting time by chemical salesmen, insurance peddlers or a politician promising relief for the farmer.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

"I don't belong to any organized political party... I'm a Democrat."

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