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Sunday, March 09, 2008 ISSUE #492

Snow slows Ohio, but politicians plow ahead
#492, March 9, 2008

COLUMBUS: You probably read about the snow storm that stretched from Texas and Oklahoma up through Kentucky and Ohio, and into Canada. Columbus got 15 to 20 inches, and the Columbus Dispatch headline read, "Blizzard of 2008". Cleveland got twice as much and they called it a weekly occurrence.

Everything is crammed together this month. Ohio blizzard Saturday, daylight savings time Sunday (if you've got to give up an hour, this was a good weekend to do it); then next week we've got Palm Sunday, St. Patrick's Day, first day of Spring, and Easter. Only thing that's stretched out is the Democrat race for President. Nothing left in April except Fool's Day, Tax Day and the Pennsylvania Primary.

Hillary Clinton sure bounced back in Texas and Ohio, but Senator Obama still holds the delegates. Michigan and Florida are back in the spotlight, and the only thing keeping 'em from scheduling new primaries is about thirty million dollars. Howard Deen says the Democrat Party won't pay it; the Governors say it's not our bill.

Only choice left is donations to fund 'em. I heard James Carville on CNN today promise to raise fifteen million. You just watch; if they schedule those primaries in the middle of June the other fifteen will quickly be donated (anonymously of course) by the Republicans.

Before I go on, in fairness, I must admit to you that "I'm not a member of any organized political party.... I'm a Democrat." This campaign season, for both parties, has shown an inherent deficiency of judgement in organizing primaries and caucuses. They stretch 'em out, in all 50 states, from January to June, but then admit they really want the races decided by the first week in February. Well, the voters rebelled at the idea of ending the game after the first inning.

I bet, if you could get 'em to admit it, they wish they had accepted my proposal from a year ago, to hold all 50 primaries on the same day: the first Tuesday in November 2007. As it is, the Democrats are looking at a convention resembling the one in 1924 in New York. Main ones benefitting, besides Republicans, are us comedians. (See second quote below)

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

   "Thank you very much. We're here an hour earlier today. It seems kind of funny – with everybody advised to spend and the government spending everything, and then – it seems sort of funny for somebody to save a little daylight nowadays. Put a little bit of it on the budget or something." Radio, April 28, 1935

   (After 5 days, and about 50 ballots) "Well, they have been balloting all day at the Democratic side show at (Madison Square) Garden, for that is what some misguided people think is the nominating place. The real nomination is taking place in a room at some hotel with less than six men present. And when it is known it will be as big a surprise to those delegates as it will be out in Arizona, and you will have just as much to do with it as they will have had.
   They have been here so long it looks like a scheme on New York's part to hold these people here until after the next census is taken. Every day somebody prays. Yesterday it was the audience.
   I sat up on the speaker's stand and I found a book of rules. An uninstructed delegate [super delegate in 2008?] is one whom his district sent here with a free rein to use his own judgment, but when he comes back he is supposed to give up 50 per cent of whatever his vote brought. An alternate is a man sent along to watch the delegate and see that he turns in the right amount, and it is also his duty to get out and drum up trade and keep track of prices and see what they are bringing other places. He, according to the rules, is to receive 10 per cent of the gross." Democratic Convention, Article #9, July 1, 1924

"America has the best politicians money can buy." (Undated notes)

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