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Monday, May 14, 2007 ISSUE #456

Florida vs. California again

#456, May 14 , 2007

COLUMBUS: Catalina Island caught fire last week off California. The next day Florida got wind of it, said California is clearing more land, and we can't let 'em get ahead of us.

While California's fires are mainly on steep hillsides, Florida arranged for theirs to be on flat land (is there any other kind?) located in easy proximity to two Interstate highways. You Northerners better be alert for new Realtor ads featuring "half acre lots, freshly charred, with an unlimited view previously blocked by trees. Conveniently located just across the state line from Georgia; no need to move hundreds of miles farther south to avoid income taxes."

Republican Presidential contenders are debating again, this time in South Carolina. Fortunately the FBI caught those Islamic illegal aliens planning to blow up Fort Dix. Now they'll have something new to discuss.

In Iraq, the Army has a couple thousand troops looking for the three soldiers kidnaped by al Qaida. When they find them, and dispense with the captors, I suggest they keep right on going to Afghanistan and dig out Osama bin Laden. Even to Pakistan if need be. You give the Army something to fight for, there's no stopping 'em.

On a relatively frivolous note, this e-mail campaign to stop people from buying gasoline on May 15 kinda backfired. Filling stations figured if everyone is gonna fill up on the 14th in order to skip buying gas on the 15th , we'll jack up prices on the 14th. It's just our luck, gas on the 15th will be posted at a dollar a gallon, and our tanks are all full.

I'd better lay off the gas companies. I had planned to call "my" old friends at Phillips 66 to sponsor a tour of Oklahoma, you know, to raise funds for the sufferers of recent tornadoes and floods. But now it's the automobile drivers that are hollering for relief, from making monthly payments on gas at $3.25.

There's no doubt who's worse off when you compare the man driving an automobile to the family temporarily sleeping in one.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

"If everybody (traded his car for a horse) they would be out of debt in a couple of years. Just think, no gas, no tires, no roads to pay for." DT #2043, Feb. 20, 1933

"The difference between good times and bad times is gasoline, and what goes with it." WA #636, March 3, 1935

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