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Friday, November 18, 2005 ISSUE #386

President goes shopping in China

# 386, November 18, 2005

COLUMBUS: President Bush's approval ratings took another nose dive. He's below 40 percent, and that's just in Congress. It has gotten so precarious, he's gonna have to follow Mr. Coolidge's plan; the Senate was agin him so much that he stopped telling them where he stood, and after that they accidently voted his way about half the time.

Mr. Bush proposed spending $7 Billion on bird flu vaccine. Congress said, "No, we'll hold off till it lands here and knocks off a few thousand. Then we'll appropriate $100 Billion for the cure."

The President is in Asia this week. He's been in Korea, and is on his way to China. I figure while he's there he'll make an offer for the Great Wall. He wants to buy it and have it moved to our border with Mexico.

You might wonder, wouldn't it be cheaper to just build a new wall? Well, yes, but only if we hired Mexico to construct it. And knowing Mexico, they would build it solid and secure. Except for the secret passages.

Kansas has changed the definition of science. They say it wasn't evolution, but intelligent design that put us all here. Maybe so, but some of you might question the intelligence of any "designer" that would ever give us termites. And gophers and ground hogs. And, at least for this week, Wolverines. [Note: that little jab was aimed at the Michigan Wolverines. In the football game Nov. 19 they put up a valiant fight, but secumbed to a superior team from Ohio State.]

But Kansas may be on to something. Have you noticed we have been struck by an extraordinary number of tornados this month, and not a one of them hit Kansas. No hurricanes either.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:

"These Chinese got humor, don't kid yourself. I been looking at Walls and old Palaces today till I am groggy. The Forbidden City, that's the way to attract attention to anything; call it Forbidden, and you couldent keep an American out of there with a meat Ax." Saturday Evening Post, March 19, 1932

"I am now speeding across Kansas, that state that is sometimes noted for its broad and narrow ideas." WA #76, May 25, 1924.

"(William Jennings Bryan) tries to prove that we did not descend from the monkey, but he unfortunately picked a time when the actions of our people prove that we did." WA #40, Sept. 16, 1923

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