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Thursday, September 02, 2004 ISSUE #333

Republican Convention ends; Bush and Kerry storm Ohio

# 333, Sept. 2, 2004

COLUMBUS: Wow, it's over in New York. The Republicans went with Bush and Cheney again.

Remember when folks wanted Kerry to choose John McCain as his V-P? Well, if he had, Bush could have opted for Zell Miller... and the next two months would have made the Gunfight at the OK Corral look like a lovefest.

The Georgia Democrat made a lot of friends among Republicans. Did you hear him last night? Millions across the country heard him, and most of them didn't even need a television. Zell Miller was intense, penetrating, LOUD.

If the President gets re-elected I predict he'll find a spot for Zell. Maybe if Tom Ridge retires, he'll take over as director of Homeland Security. He would save millions of dollars. See, you take a picture of Zell where he was scowling at Kerry in that speech last night, blow it up real big, and place those side by side on all of our borders. No terrorist or illegal alien would dare try to sneak in. Zell's picture would scare the hell out of them.

We wouldn't need all those border guards. You cross old Zell and he'll take you out in a duel. Homeland Security would be a one-man operation.

Florida is bracing for another hurricane. Ohio is fortifying for a deluge. Florida gets wind and rain; Ohio gets wind. Mr. Kerry and Edwards are in Springfield tonight. Why, the balloons are still dropping in New York and these fellows are picking up a microphone in Ohio. Mr. Bush won't be far behind. After a pause in Pennsylvania tonight he'll land in Cleveland tomorrow.

If you say a prayer tonight, pray for Florida. And if you got time, put in an extra word for Ohio. Relief here is not as necessary, but still appreciated.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:

"...may the best team win; that is, the best for the country, be it Democratic or Republican, for a guiding hand in any business now needs encouragement and especially in guiding the biggest business in the world. Lord, what a tough time to have a country on your hands!" Convention Articles, Republican Convention, closing article, June 17, 1932

"Coolidge made less speeches and got more votes than any man that ever run. (William Jennings) Bryan was listened to and cheered by more people than any single human in politics, and he lost. So there is a doubt just whether talking does you good or harm." DT #673, Sept. 21, 1928

"This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation." DT #1948, Nov. 1, 1932

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