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Sunday, July 22, 2018 ISSUE #939

Putin, Trump and a different kind of student loan  

 Trump got himself into a pickle last week with Putin. I missed all the commotion as it was happening because I was at a convention in Dallas with 1400 professional speakers. (To add diversity, we allowed in 47 professional listeners.)

          Years ago, Jefferson bought all of Louisiana Territory from France, and Seward, with Lincoln’s blessing, bought Alaska from Russia. But according to recent reports it seems that 98% of the population thinks Putin tricked Trump into selling him the other 49 states. There’s nothing to be concerned about because Congress would never approve such a deal, no matter the price. But the Republican leaders might go along if Putin agrees to only take the new one-third-of-California state that includes San Francisco and Sacramento.

          The joint press conference caused the most consternation. Apparently President Trump was bending over backwards to be nice to Putin in public. But like a boy on a first date with a pretty girl, he misspoke a few times and got slapped. Not by Putin; by the media and a whole slew of prominent folks. Trump should have known better; after all he’s had plenty of dates with pretty girls, and he’s lost a bundle on ‘em.  

          My advice to our President: never hold a joint press conference where most questions will be aimed at causing friction between you and the “bad guy” you are trying to convince to become a “good guy.” Older folks will remember that when Reagan said, ‘Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall,’ he was not in a press conference with the Russian leader.

I read in the newspaper that a college in Vermont is offering an alternative to student loans. Instead, Norwich University will take a percentage of the student’s income after they graduate and get a job.

I suggest that all universities do this. They would have to offer classes that lead to good careers and let go of the others. Professors will teach material to increase the students’ job prospects and income. Why? Because their future salaries depend on future collections from those students. The university V-P in charge of collecting the future payments will be in constant contact with the students, insisting they go to class, study late, and stay sober.

They will emphasize recruiting the best football and basketball players because those students could pay off their “loan” quickly from their multi-million dollar pro contracts.

The Admissions folks will be asking tough questions of prospective students, such as: “What are your goals for the first 5 years after graduating?”

High school senior: “Well, the first year I want to travel Europe, camping out, to find myself. Then work in the movie business.”

“What role in the movies?”

“An usher. I like to sleep till noon.”

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

          “An awful lot of folks are predicting [the President’s] downfall, not only predicting but praying. We are a funny people. We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then go home and start daring ‘em to make good.” DT #2700, April 1, 1935

“The only salvation I can see for the young is to increase the college term to an additional four years. You'll say, ‘Well, what could they learn in another four years?’ Well, there must be something about making a living that they haven't learned yet, and they could kind of work on that for the next four years.” Radio, June 2, 1935

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