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Sunday, April 06, 2014 ISSUE #795

New way to cut pork in Washington
     Joni Ernst is one of five Republican candidates for Senate in Iowa hoping to fill Tom Harkin’s seat. She has a campaign ad that claims she will “cut pork.” That’s not unusual; most Republican candidates say they want to reduce wasteful spending. But she shows in her opening line she is experienced at cutting pork, “I grew up castrating hogs.”     

    Everyone in Iowa knows exactly what she’s talking about. But TV commentators back East were unaware that castration is a common procedure for the vast majority of baby pigs of the male persuasion. Same for calves and lambs. These TV folks appear shocked that castration could be done by a girl.

    We have a few farmers and ranchers in Congress and we would be better off with more of ‘em. And less Ivy League lawyers. You might get a great education at Harvard, but they don’t offer even a single class in how to cut pork.

    My cousin, at age five, helped Granddad deliver lambs. If the ewe was having difficulty, she could reach her little hand and arm in there and pull out the baby lamb. And do it again for twins. Granddad appreciated the helping hand (and so did the mama sheep). But Granddad never let on to Grandma about this contribution to her early childhood education.

    I read that the U.S. State Department spent $6 Billion that it has no idea where it went. The money just vanished over the last 5 or 6 years. If Mrs. Ernst gets in there, that might be a good place to start, uh, castrating.

    (Warning: my connection to Ohio State is showing in this joke.) President Obama gave a speech to University of Michigan students. He told them he was for raising the minimum wage and they applauded wildly. I guess they look forward to a career flipping burgers.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
    “They have a wonderful class of students (at the Agriculture College at Ames, Iowa). They have a course called Animal Husbandry. I asked a boy what it was and he told me. Here I had followed Cows all my life and didn’t know what it was.”
WA #172, March 28, 1926

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