|Wednesday, October 30, 2002||ISSUE #247|
COLUMBUS: By golly, the Angels beat the Giants after all. It took 'em 7 games and the score of the last game was 4 to1. Why am I telling you this old news? Well, hardly anybody east of Fresno bothered to watch, and if someone ever asks you, "who won the 2002 World Series?", you can't credit your ignorance to me if you miss it.
The players all got a trip to Disneyland. Yeah, right. I think it's across the street from their baseball field. They should've taken 'em to Gene Autry's Melody Ranch. At least they would get a bus ride.
Wasn't that a tragedy up in Minnesota, losing Paul Wellstone and other fine people with him. Everybody knew where he stood, but they always asked him anyway because it was so enjoyable and enlightening to hear him explain it. He could always be counted on to vote one way, kinda like Senator Hatch of Utah, except the opposite. They canceled each other out 99% of the time. Everybody knows you could remove about two-thirds of the Senate and the country would run just as good, maybe better.
They had a funeral for Sen. Wellstone, and it turned into a 3-hour Revival Meeting for the Democratic denomination. Of course the Democrats need to be revived, or even resurrected, but Republican Senators are demanding equal time. The television networks said, "We'll give it to you, under one condition." But, so far, none of them has volunteered for the role of the corpse.
Looks like we may get Walter Mondale back in there, and Frank Lautenburg from New Jersey. Ohio and Kansas are thinking about bringing back John Glenn and Bob Dole.
With prospects of these wise old birds returning to the Senate, Strom Thurmond is feeling kinda sorry about yielding his South Carolina seat.
Why, I wouldn't be surprised at the opening roll call to see Louisiana represented by Huey Long.
Here in Ohio, no matter who wins governor's race, he will likely raise taxes. Of course they are denying it till after the election. Gov. Taft finally admitted yesterday he is against any new income tax or sales tax, but to fund the schools he might be obliged to put on an "education tax".
Now there is a sly one, naming a tax for where the money's going instead of where it's coming from. See, this new tax will be on income or sales or property, but it's going for schools.
Really, I think this is a good idea, in fact it ought to be that way for anybody who wants a share of our money. We already know where the money's coming from, it's coming from those that have got it. From now on, when we give it, we would know where it's headed.
For instance, if you want support for the farmer, you put on a "farmer tax", and I think the majority would maybe vote in favor of such a tax. Probably the same for a "teacher tax".
But if you want a "beach tax" to haul sand and pile it in front of millionaires' oceanfront houses, well, the odds are about the same as a "Governor's and Legislator's tax" to raise their salaries.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"Come pretty near having two holidays of equal importance in the same week, Halloween and Election, and of the two, Election provides us the most fun. On Halloween they put pumpkins on their heads, and on Election they don't have to. Candidates have been telling you that if elected they would "pull you from this bog hole of financial misery." Now is a good chance to get even with 'em, by electing 'em, just to prove what a liar they are. Personally I think this is the right year for a good man to be defeated in." DT #1334, Nov. 2, 1930
"The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it's in the way that it's spent." DT #1764, March 20, 1932
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