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Sunday, March 18, 2012 ISSUE #699
 

 President Obama and Will Rogers combine for some silliness 
  
    COLUMBUS: President Obama made some curious comments this week. He took a jab at Republicans by saying they would have not supported Christopher Columbus when he set sail from Spain in 1492. In fact, Columbus had great difficulty rounding up a crew for his three ships because not only Republicans, but Democrats too, thought they might sail off the edge.

    Well, Columbus traveled by wind power because he knew it was too far to row. If he could have bought some diesel engines, believe me, he would have used ‘em. He set off to find India, and when he accidently landed on our shores, he thought he had done it. Now, us Cherokees and Seminoles already knew who we were, and where we lived, but he insisted we were Indians.

    If this continent had not gotten in his way, Columbus would have spent another year or two sailing toward India. But I doubt even the Democrats would have stuck with him that long without a mutiny.

    President Obama was in Illinois for another fund raiser and he reminded Republicans they could learn something from Lincoln. He likes to compare himself to Lincoln and I don’t blame him. The whole state of Illinois is proud to be the Land of Lincoln, but I don’t remember Lincoln being overly proud of the politicians from Chicago.  I guess this fall we can decide who is more like Lincoln: a Democrat from Chicago, or a Republican from Massachusetts.

    Then the President took a swipe at Rutherford B. Hayes, a Republican from Ohio, by saying he saw no future for the telephone. Well, in fact President Hayes had the first one installed in the White House in 1879, just two years after Alexander Graham Bell invented it. The White House phone number was 1. I think the Democratic National Committee had number 2. Mr. Hayes may have been frustrated that the line was often busy, mainly because the Democrats were constantly calling their campaign contributors asking for more money.

    I wonder if President Obama realizes that Bell received no government funds to invent the telephone. It took a few decades for the telephone to become more popular than the telegraph, but no one in the White House ever claimed that the cost of sending a telegram should be raised to $9.99 to help it along.

    Yes, Columbus’ trip was one hundred percent government funded by Queen Isabella, but with the stipulation that he return to Spain with double the dollar amount in gold.   Well, us so-called Indians had no gold to steal, so he went home with nothing but a few trinkets, a hundred muskrat hides, and a dozen pairs of alligator boots.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
    “Being an Indian, I don’t mind telling you that personally I am sorry Columbus ever found us. The discovery of America has been of no material benefit to us, outside of losing all our land. I am proud to say that I have never yet seen a statue to him in Oklahoma.”
WA #190, Aug. 1, 1926


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