COLUMBUS: Mitt Romney squeezed out a victory in Iowa. I told you someone would surge at the last second but Rick Santorum was still 8 votes short at the buzzer.
Governor Romney will also win in New Hampshire. In South Carolina, whatever candidates are left may gang up and try to shoot out the tires of the Romney bandwagon.
Now there is one extra stop for those folks, sort of, before South Carolina. This week I’ll be in St. Louis for the National No-Till Farmers annual conference and it’s become a tradition every four years to conduct a Presidential Primary election. It will be on Friday the Thirteenth so Lord knows what calamity is likely to befall the winner. It’s all in fun, and if any of the candidates show up they are welcome to replace their stand-ins.
Texan Rick Perry may have an advantage with this gang because he is a farmer. But Ron Paul will counter with a plan to make these farmers rich; he plans to legalize marijuana. Just think, if folks are making a living today growing that stuff in a basement, a farmer with a thousand acres can make a fortune. Besides the usual Republican candidates, I’m expecting a few others to show up, including Donald Trump, and even Hillary Clinton and one of Herman Cain’s old girlfriends.
I’ll report the results next week, in case you don’t hear ‘em sooner on Fox News.
“Laughing our cares away” was the front page headline in the USA Today on Friday. The story said that comedy is more popular today because times are tough and people need to laugh. Well, I’m not surprised; it was the same during the Depression. This country’s got plenty of good humorists and comedians and we are all eager to give you something to laugh at.
Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“Democrats take the whole thing as a joke. Republicans take it serious but run it like a joke.”
“A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some.”
“Republicans want a man that can lend dignity to the office. Democrats want a man that will lend some money.”
“Everybody nowadays is suggesting ways of getting prosperous on somebody else’s money.”
“Newspaper headline says: “Congress is deadlocked and can’t act.” I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country.”
“The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.”
“Once a man wants to hold a Public Office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.”
“There’s no trick to being a humorist when you’ve got the whole government working for you.”