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Sunday, July 11, 2010 ISSUE #611
 

Attorney General Eric Holder announces a surprise lawsuit
#611   July 11, 2010

    COLUMBUS: Attorney General Eric Holder sued Arizona for passing a law that allows the state to enforce a federal law that bans illegal immigration. He said, "No state has a right to ban illegal immigration because that job belongs to the federal government."

    As a follow up, and to promote the Obama Administration views on immigration, Mr. Holder plans to sue the federal government for having a law that bans illegal immigration. 

    In the Super Bowl of soccer, Spain beat Netherlands 1-0 in the World Cup. Spain scored 8 times in 7 games, the mark of a dominating champion if there ever was one. It took them until near the end of the second overtime to score their only goal, and that was against a team that was a man short.

    Now, I know we’re told that Americans should not joke about soccer because it is most popular sport in the world. But we can’t help it. The two easiest jobs in the world are working as a World Cup timekeeper and scorekeeper. The timer starts the clock and returns 45 minutes later to stop it. Then he rests a few minutes and does it again. The only trick to the job is that when hitting the start-stop button he can’t use his hands. The scorekeeper sits beside the timekeeper and when the fellow on the radio, whose only job is to yell G-O-O-O-O-A-A-A-L-L-L-L when someone scores (and that’s the third easiest job), well, that’s when the scorekeeper changes the 0 to 1, and goes back to sleep.

    American kids like playing soccer, so when the World Cup comes on again in 4 years we’ll probably watch it. But only if they ban those darned horns.

    Al-Qaeda published a new magazine, Inspire, to recruit English-speaking Muslim terrorist bombers. When asked for reaction from the President, a spokesman said, "It’s a missed opportunity. If we had known they were going to publish, we would have bought a full page NASA ad."

    Back to the Arizona lawsuit, a friend of mine in Tennessee suggested instead of battling illegal immigration, we should just give back to Mexico the border states of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and Southern California. Then sit back and watch the fun as Mexico figures out how to deal with all their new illegal non-Mexican residents. The only problem is that when Mexico sees the California mountain of debt and Arizona’s foreclosed homes, they would be begging the U.S. to take them back. Mexico would say, "We don’t want to own your states; we just want our people to live and work there. And send money home." 

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

    "There is a good deal in the papers about giving my native state of Oklahoma back to the Indians.  Now I am Cherokee Indian and very proud of it, but I doubt if you can get them to accept it – not in its present state."
WA #59, Jan. 27, 1924


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