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Sunday, May 16, 2010 ISSUE #603
 

Farmers say hay is solution to oil spill
#603   May 16, 2010

    COLUMBUS: I heard today that the majority of people in Greece support the government’s attempts to rein in spending and keep from going bankrupt. You would never guess it from the pictures of all the rioters on television. Seems the only ones who get attention are the freeloaders who want something for nothing. They are not too keen on a 20 percent pay cut, and having to work past 53 before retiring on full salary.

    Ireland, Spain and Portugal are next in line to cut spending. In Britain the Conservatives welcomed the Liberal Democrats into the fold to work on a financial solution. So far they have agreed on one thing; they don’t want Gordon Brown as Prime Minister.

    Elena Kagan appears to be on a clear path to the Supreme Court. She was born in New York City, graduated from Harvard Law, and is either a Catholic or Jew. So right there she meets 95 percent of the qualifications. She’s smart, and will please President Obama by siding with his liberal views. At the same time, it’s hard to believe no one born, raised and educated west of the Hudson River is qualified to be nominated for Supreme Court justice. For the next opening, let’s all get behind someone from, say, Texas, Oklahoma or Montana. It’s time for some Western wisdom on the bench.

    In other news, tonight in the Miss USA contest Miss Oklahoma was asked her opinion on Arizona’s new immigration law. She supports the law. "I'm a huge believer in states' rights. So I think it's perfectly fine for Arizona to create that law." She came in second.

    BP had a bit of success sticking a one-mile long drinking straw into the leaking well. Really, it’s bigger than a straw and may help get most of the oil pumped into a ship. There’s still over a million barrels of oil floating around the Gulf.

    Here’s an idea I heard from a couple of farmers: soak up the oil with hay. Take hay bales left over from last winter, shred the bales and drop the hay from an airplane over the oil slicks. The hay would absorb the oil, leaving the water clear. It would float, and any oil-soaked hay that washes up on shore can be raked and baled and then burned in an electric power plant. (I bet you would never hear a down to earth idea like that from a New York City-born Harvard lawyer.)

    Environmentalist have important concerns about off-shore drilling. But consider the amazing output from this single well. If there’s oil under the entire Gulf of Mexico like this gusher, maybe we should drain the Gulf and turn the whole area into a gigantic oil field.  Build a dam from Florida to Cancun and pump out the water.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

    "Flew right over that new Texas oil field that has made oil so cheap that it's cheaper to strike a dry hole."
DT #1487, April 29, 1931


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