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Sunday, January 31, 2010 ISSUE #588
 

Trains, terrorist trials and Toyota 
#588   Jan. 31, 2010

    COLUMBUS: The economy is so bad it is even affecting the Gitmo terrorists. They had their bags packed  for a Billion dollar stay in New York City and the trip may be canceled because of the cost. Attorney General Holder is the only one who doesn’t care where the money is coming from.

    President Obama should call him and say, "Eric, the only way those trials will be in New York is if you pay for them yourself."

    Toyota is running into trouble because of a stuck gas pedal. Our young drivers today can dial a cell phone and type a text message at 60 miles per hour, but they never bothered to learn how to deal with a stuck accelerator. It just seems natural to me that if the gas pedal sticks when you’re going faster than you want to, hit the clutch. If you don’t have a clutch, shift to neutral.

    Now I would never pretend to tell you how to fix an automobile. But for all those Toyota owners who are afraid to even back out of the garage, perhaps a squirt of oil or WD40 can give some peace of mind.

    The federal government just announced they expect to take in $2.2 Trillion in taxes next year. That seems like a lot of money, and you would think that just about any government, even the one headquartered in Washington, could survive a year on $2.2 Trillion.

    Well, here’s a shocker: out of that $2.2 Trillion, they plan to spend $3.8 Trillion. In other words, we can live on our own for 7 months, then the next 5 we’ll live off the in-laws.

    Despite the deficit, President Obama announced he wants to spend $8 Billion on new passenger trains. "The airlines and car companies are making too much money so I want to give them some competition. I want to discourage air travel and cut car sales. Amtrak has a proven financial record, so we want to give them more routes and more trains. We’re gonna borrow the $8 Billion from China, and then require States to match it." 

    The Governors said, "We’re broke. We can’t afford what we already have. How about if you send us the $8 Billion, and forget the trains."
                   
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

    "There couldn’t possibly be one that knew less about Machinery (than me)...  If I raised up the hood and a Rabbit jumped out, I wouldent know but what he belonged in there.  I drive 'em, but I sho don't try to fix 'em."
WA #317, Jan. 20, 1929

    "If your time is worth anything, travel by air." DT #389, Oct. 20, 1927


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