|Sunday, September 02, 2007||ISSUE #470|
Weekly Comments: Congress and college football get restarted
#470, Sept. 2, 2007
COLUMBUS: Congress is coming back from their August vacation, or as the Congressmen refer to it, a "District Work Period".
The Senate returns for what they humorously call their "Washington Work Period". Yes, on Tuesday the Senate will be open, but their Men's Rest Room may remain closed till October.
Congress spent their entire August recess digging up Water projects to fund. So far, their wish list of new and improved dams, canals, locks, levees, lakes, swamps, harbors and sandy beaches adds up to $22,000,000,000. You know, if they can find $22 Billion for water, maybe they can round up a few Billion to fix and replace some bridges OVER the water.
Yesterday hundreds of college football teams started their seasons. Only one that didn't start was Michigan. Like an old Model T with bad gas and burned out plugs, they cranked and cranked the engine, got it to sputter a few times, but at the end it conked out and died on the field. Little Appalachian State University rode up to Ann Arbor from the mountain town of Boone, North Carolina, grabbed the football, stuffed it up the Wolverines tail pipe and held it there till the whole team turned Blue.
But don't write off Michigan. They have a week to fix up the old Tin Lizzie and take on Oregon. And in case you're wondering, Appalachian State's next opponent is Lenoir-Rhyne. Before you count them out, remember a week ago you hadn't heard of Appalachian State either.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"All I know is what I read in the papers. I thought this week I would be able to write you something nice clean and uplifting, with no trace of scandal. But I just can't find anything. Why, even if you talk about the church now you are just as apt to be discussing some of their scandals as you are if you talk about oil." WA #69, April 6, 1924
"In Europe, Public men DO resign. But here it's a lost art. You have to Impeach 'em." He Chews to Run, in Life magazine, June 7, 1927
"Tomorrow is Labor Day, I suppose set by act of Congress. Everything we do nowadays is either by or against acts of Congress. How Congress knew anything about labor is beyond us, but anyhow tomorrow is Labor Day." DT #967, Sept. 1, 1929
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