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Monday, March 26, 2007 ISSUE #449
 

Special note: 4 more Will Rogers movies are now available on DVDs. Call the Will Rogers Memorial Museum at 800-324-9455, and ask for Volume 2. Total cost about $60. The movies are: Ambassador Bill, David Harum, Mr. Skitch and Too Busy to Work.

Illegal immigrants and another straw poll
#449, March 26, 2007

COLUMBUS: Results of another straw poll will be announced Sunday. Votes are due by March 31 and it costs you a dollar to vote. Don't know why I didn't think of that idea.

Yes, after the March 31 deadline candidates will report how much money they have collected. Without an election board, I don't expect an honest count considering the results will be announced on April First.

It used to be a candidate was proud if he didn't collect much of anything. That way he could claim his support came from hand-shaking, baby kissing and shoe leather and proved he wasn't out to buy votes. Nowadays, if you can't round up at least $20 Million by March, the year BEFORE election year, why you're seen as a pauper and unfit for high office.

College basketball is down to a Final Four. They're all deserving teams but I would get run out of town if I put my money on anyone other than Ohio State. If Greg Oden plays 35 minutes a game it's a cinch.

All I know is what I read in the paper, and today the Associated Press announced we are losing the battle against illegal aliens. We have spent over $200 Million since 2003 to track 'em down and we've got more fugitives now than we did when we started. Kinda like Iraqi insurgents.

The Homeland Security Department explained we have 623,292 of these fugitive aliens and they blame it on "insufficient detention capacity and limitations of an immigration database". I say it's because we don't have enough jail cells and they don't give their right names.

We need more Border Patrol agents like those two in Texas that we put in prison because they chased a drug smuggler back to Mexico with buckshot. Right there is two jail cells to help relieve the shortage. Of course it would be easier for our agents to arrest these 600,000 fugitive illegal aliens if they didn't have to sort through 12,000,000 other illegal aliens to find 'em.

Alberto Gonzales is facing a Congressional firing squad. Maybe he should be fired; what we need is an Attorney General who instead of sacking 8 prosecutors will hire 800 more and put 'em to work prosecuting these fugitive aliens; not just prosecuting them but driving 'em home. While you're at it, take along the men that hired 'em and leave them there without their passports.

I don't intend to appear cold-hearted. There ain't any easy answer to this illegal immigration problem. But here's a start. Make 'em all go home, and let back in the ones we want. Who gets in would be our decision, not Mexico's. Course we need a few million immigrants to do the work. And since we can't depend on Europeans to come over and do our chores (they've gotten just as lazy as we have lately), it's pretty much up to the Mexicans.

One immigrant got confused and instead of crossing the Rio Grande he tried to swim the Niagara River. I guess he figured to head over the Falls on the Canadian side and hope to land at the bottom on the American side. Right there is my answer to the amnesty question: any immigrant who goes over Niagara Falls in winter and makes it to American soil, give him amnesty. Anybody else has to earn it.

Historic quote from Will Rogers:

"Personally, I am in favor of money being spent on elections. The more money the better. If they can get contributions from rich men and distribute them around among the poor and needy I think it's a good thing... A voter nowadays has very little chance of getting anything from his Senator after election, and why shouldent he get what he can before? Besides, the fellow may not get elected, and in that case the vote they sold did no harm and dident break the fellow that made the contributions. So my slogan is: Bigger and higher-priced elections." Letters of a Self-Made Diplomat to his President, May 20, 1926


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