|Saturday, January 05, 2002||ISSUE #212|
COLUMBUS: Midwesterners are kinda jealous of the South. Those folks from Louisiana to South Carolina have had more snow than Chicago and Columbus. Buffalo has offered to ship us some, but we have to furnish the trucks.
The Olympic flame passed through here this week. It was in Buffalo January 1, and was delayed getting out of town – the mayor was using it to melt snow.
Years ago the Olympic planners used fast runners, and picked out a direct route to get the flame to the Games. But now, they start early and zigzag around the country like a gerrymandered congressional district. For the torch bearers today, speed don't matter as much as how they have lived their life. I hope you get to see the Olympic flame on its way to Utah. You'll be inspired by the flame, and by the ones carrying it.
Speaking of flames, Sydney is kinda hemmed in by fires in the Blue Mountains west of town. Some of our television reporters have gone a bit overboard, saying Australia is on fire, and the koalas and all their other wildlife will become extinct. Well, of course it's bad for those involved, but remind your kids that Australia is as big as America, and there's parts of it with more koalas than they know what to do with. Sydney survived a hail storm in 1999, the Olympics in 2000, and boatloads of illegal aliens in 2001, so these fires are just a temporary inconvenience for John Howard and the Aussies.
The Rose Bowl was played Thursday night. It was kinda like old times when they always brought the two best football teams in the country to Pasadena. Miami ran all over the Nebraska Huskers and led 34 to nothing at halftime.
Next year I think the BCS should pick the top two differently. Lately, those teams from the state of Florida have been so tough to beat, just let those Florida schools decide among themselves on one of the teams, then the rest of the country fight it out for the other.
Did you notice that the Miami coach Larry Coker is from Oklahoma? Yes sir, and don't be surprised if the U. of Florida hires an Okie to replace Spurrier. Those football players in Florida are bred to run, but it takes a good coach to tell 'em which direction to run in.
Notre Dame found one, Ty Willingham from out at Stanford. He will get the Irish back to where they was under Rockne and Holtz.
Rudy Giuliani turned New York over to the new mayor, Mr. Bloomberg. He is so rich I ain't sure if he'll be content with just one city to run. He may want to become President of Argentina. They have had 5 or 6 in the last few days, and none of them could afford to keep the job. Argentina is broke, so anyone with enough dough to pay off the debts can have the whole country. Bill Gates says he is not interested.
All these senators wanting to run for President in 2004, maybe they could try out their campaign plan on Argentina. Kinda like spring training, and it's sure warmer than New Hampshire or Iowa. If their economic plan works down there, they can give George W a real race in two years.
But don't you worry about Argentina. All the news has been from the capital city, but if you get out in the countryside, politics don't matter so much. All they need is good rains to grow grass for their cattle and soybeans for Japan.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"...our New Year's football game at the Rose Bowl. Andy Mellon's boys from Pittsburgh played U. S. C. The score was 35 to nothing (in favor of USC). We got a man out here coaching, named Howard Harding Jones, that could take the Senate page boys and beat Harvard, Princeton and Yale with 'em." DT #2003, Jan. 4, 1933
Will was in "Argentine" in 1902, at age 22. The following quotes are from letters to his dad and sisters.
"I went up into the interior about 800 miles and looked around for a few days but was not able to strike anything. But I am not in the least discouraged....
"I have been well paid for my trip for I have learned lots on the trip. You don't know how good your country is till you get away from it." June 17
"I don't think from what I have seen and heard that the unsatisfactory conditions of the country are in the land, climate or natural resources, but the fault is in the governing class... it is said to be the most corrupt and unstable of any government in the world...
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