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Monday, March 13, 2006 ISSUE #400
 

Will sees odd winners and losers

# 400, March 13, 2006

COLUMBUS: There's tornadoes in Missouri and Illinois, fires in Texas and New Mexico, snow in Arizona, and nukes in Iran. But they all got bumped off the front page Monday by "who's going to the Final Four". These big lotteries have nothing on college basketball brackets and office pools. So pay your dollar, pick your winner (odds are 1 in 65), and prepare for your payoff.

Dubai pulled out of the port deal. They want to turn 'em over to an American outfit, if they can find one. I said a few weeks ago the Longshoremen were running 'em, and I got corrected. They are being run by the Longshoremen, but in cahoots with the Mafia. So really our port security is in the hands of Tony Soprano.

I suggest we let Wal-Mart manage the ports, and put the Mafia in charge of wiping out the terrorists in Iraq.

Republicans met this weekend in Memphis. They took a straw poll for 2008 and Tennessee Senator Bill Frist won. You know, that says something for you. When a fellow can get the home folks to support him for President, it means they either like him, or they want to get shut of him for four years, and preferably eight. Just because one medical doctor got derailed in a previous race, it don't mean you shouldn't give another one a chance.

Meeting in Tennessee, those contenders from Arizona or New York didn't have a chance. No one could've knocked off Bill Frist except maybe Davy Crockett or Dolly Parton.

My pick? Duke by three over Dubai.

             Yours,
                "Will"

Historic quotes:

"America can carry herself and get along in pretty fair shape, but when she stops and picks up the whole world and puts it on her shoulders she just can't get it done." DT #2063, March 15,

"There is certain things nature can do to you, whether its an earthquake in California, a flood in Mississippi, a tornado in Ohio, or a drought in Arkansas. When nature enters into it, don't criticize." DT #2081, April 5, 1933


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