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Friday, December 30, 2005 ISSUE #392
 

Drought and fires reign in Texas & Okla.

# 392, December 30, 2005

COLUMBUS: All these states that's getting rained on this week, and there's about forty, well, you ought to take up collection and donate it to Oklahoma and Texas. I don't mean money; just collect buckets of rainwater and ship it out.

It was already dry when I was in Claremore two months ago, and it ain't hardly rained since. Fires are still burning, and they are telling everybody to celebrate tomorrow night without firecrackers. Don't even fire a rifle into the air; instead use a water pistol, even if you don't have anything to fill it with but Coca Cola.

The college football season is wrapping up. Nebraska, Utah, Missouri, Oklahoma and some others won their big bowl games, and there's plenty more coming. Tonight the Louisiana State boys from Baton Rouge tromped Miami. They said that after Katrina, manhandling this Hurricane was a snap.

Happy New Year to you. I hope your team wins. Unless of course it's playing against mine.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

"They say all nations are sore at us, but unfortunately for us they didn't get sore at us quick enough. If they had, we would have saved money. We are the ones that should be sore at them for not getting sore at us quicker." DT #125, Dec. 29, 1926

"I have read New Year predictions till I am blue in the face about the great future..., but I have yet to see one word on what 1930 holds in store for the Democrats. And that's the very thing that makes me believe us Democrats may get a break in the coming year. I base my faith on the fact that 98 per cent of all predictions are wrong, and on the fact that it's an off year in politics and all off years are Democratic years." DT #1071, Dec. 31, 1929

"Everybody comes to California. They see a lot of great wide rocky sandy creek and river beds with not a hot water bottle full of water in 'em, and they are a big joke. They wonder what they are for.

Well, yesterday they showed what they were there for. Us old settlers that have been here five or ten years never saw anything like it. We are so tickled to see rain out here that we put on a big parade in honor of it." DT #2313, Jan. 1, 1934 [and it may rain on the Rose Bowl parade again in 2006]


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