|Saturday, September 18, 2004||ISSUE #335|
Weekly Comments: Bush, Kerry, Cheney, Edwards and Baxter Black Flood Ohio
# 335, Sept. 18, 2004
COLUMBUS: For years Martha Stewart has set the example for us ordinary folks on cooking, cleaning and decorating. Now she is the perfect role model for her fellow criminals.
Just imagine how great this country could become if every lawbreaker said, "Put me in jail now, I'm ready to serve my time." Why, it would clean up our streets, and our boardrooms. The only downside is so many trial lawyers would be out of work we'd have to invent thousands of new elective offices just to keep them occupied.
Bush and Kerry are still acting like Ohio will decide the election. Laura Bush was in Columbus this week. John Edwards spent two days in southeast Ohio where he was followed by five inches of rain from Ivan. Dick Cheney will be here Monday night. I don't know what the Vice-President will say, but he's liable to tell Ohio, "You better make the right choice Nov. 2 if you don't want the country to see more hurricanes, floods and tornados."
The Republicans have called me every day for a week inviting me to see Mr. Cheney. Today a letter came in the mail from James Carville asking me not to, and could I please send some money to the Democrats.
But Mr. Cheney's main competition Monday night will be Baxter Black. He's about the best cowboy poet/speaker/humorist around today, so I'll go see him because he's not running for anything. It's Baxter's only visit to Ohio this fall, and I figure there'll be many occasions yet to see Bush/Cheney/Kerry/Edwards.
I thought about escaping to Oklahoma to get away from all the Presidential bickering – Bush and Kerry have pretty much ignored the Sooner voters – then I read in the paper what the Oklahoma Senate candidates are saying about each other and decided to take my chances in Ohio. For now.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
These historic quotes that follow have been absolutely, positively authenticated to be from Will Rogers' own typewriter and published in the New York Times. That's for the newspaper columns. If the quotes are from a radio broadcast, you can rest assured they are indisputably valid because folks across the country heard them on CBS.
"Politics pretty quiet over the week_end. Democrats are attacking and the Republicans are defending. All the Democrats have to do is promise "what they would do if they got in." But the Republicans have to promise "what they would do" and then explain why they haven't already "done it."
[Concerning incumbent presidents] "a voter just goes to the polls and if he has got a dollar you stay in, and if he ain't got a dollar, you go out. The memory of a voter is about as long as a billy goat. So it is all going to depend on how (President) Hoover makes out the last year." Radio Broadcast, April 20, 1930
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