|Thursday, December 04, 2003||ISSUE #299|
Columbus shooter in the news; Will takes pot shot at Paris Hilton
# 299, December 4, 2003
COLUMBUS: You folks have been reading in the newspapers about all the shootings on the south side of Columbus. Someone has been firing at some big targets, mainly on I-270. One person was killed, many others scared half to death.
The Columbus Dispatch called him a sniper. But he sure ain't a marksman. So far he has hit four cars, five trucks, an empty school building and a horse trailer. Nobody knows how many he has missed. Deer season started here Monday, and the deer are wishing everyone with a gun would follow this guy's example. A white-tail don't have much to fear from a person who can't always hit the side of an 18-wheeler.
Have you seen this "reality" show on Fox with Paris Hilton and the daughter of Lionel Richie? They took these two girls, who never worked an hour in their life, and put them on a farm in Arkansas. I think it's called "The Simple Life", but with the ignorant things Miss Hilton says and does, it could be "The Simpletons".
I tell you, if the future of this country ever falls into the hands of the uneducated offspring of our wealthy class we had better all move to Mexico. Any of you who were concerned this show might embarrass our good country folk can relax. It's Hollywood that has the red face. Old Conrad Hilton may roll over and figure out a way to change his will, retroactively, and give her share of his billions to the Salvation Army.
Down in Cincinnati a policeman was attacked by a 350-pound man. It took six police to finally subdue and arrest him. The man died and his friends blame the police. It's a shame the man died, but it makes you wonder, if the policeman had died, who would stand up for him?
The famous swimmer, Gertrude Ederle died, at 97. (See second quote below) Back in June I wrote that Shirley Temple was the only prominent person still living that Will Rogers had written about. Well, Miss Ederle proved me wrong, just like she proved a lot of men wrong who underestimated her abilities.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
"You take a Southern Californian and put him [or her] anywhere he can't see a filling station or a cafeteria, and he is ready to write out his will." DT #2026, Jan. 31, 1933
"By the time you see this in print, Gertrude Ederle, the wonderful swimming girl, will either have crossed the English channel or made one of the most heroic attempts ever made to do it. Personally, I think she will make it. That means anywhere from 15 to 30 hours in a cold treacherous ocean. She has to spend the night swimming and battling with one of the strongest elements of nature – a rush of water. Nobody is paying her anything; nobody is guaranteeing her anything; she is going in there to accomplish what only five men have been able to accomplish. Now, that is what I call a sport; a sport worthy of the admiration of the entire world." WA #141, August 23, 1925 (It took her another year, but on Aug. 6, 1926, she swam the Channel in 14 hours, 31 minutes, nearly 2 hours faster than any of the five men. Will referred to her a few more times in his newspaper columns.)
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