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Sunday, January 25, 2015 ISSUE #821
 

Will Rogers “interviews” President Obama

            After the State of the Union speech, President Obama granted interviews only to 3 young YouTube internet folks. He figured that’s the only way to reach young voters who would never watch an hour speech on regular TV.  One was named Glozell and she wore green lipstick. She attracts viewers who like to watch a woman eat Fruit Loops in a bathtub filled with milk while wearing a bikini. That’s an essential segment of voters. At least for American Idol.

            I persuaded him to sit for an “interview” with me, so he could reach the old folks who likely went to sleep before the speech, or maybe in the middle of it. They eat their oatmeal in a bowl and do their swimming in a pool. And they vote! In elections!

         Will Rogers: Mr. President, thanks for talking with me. You are the president of all the citizens. But some wondering, do you like representing the “right half” of the nation? Obama: “Of course I represent ALL Americans, left and right. Without the right, no way I could satisfy the left.”

            WR: Do you favor people who save money by investing in the stock market and in savings accounts, such as a college fund for their kids?  “Yes, absolutely. I want them to invest and save and make money, so I can tax ‘em.”

          WR: You have stated that everyone should pay their fair share. What is the fair share for the top 1%? They currently pay almost 40% of the total while the bottom 50% pays about 2%. Obama:  “As you know, I feel the half at the bottom should pay nothing. And the middle class has suffered with lower incomes, so they need relief. To be fair, the fat cats at the top need to contribute more, at least 50% of the total.”

            WR: So for someone making, say a million a year, how much should they pay? Obama: “Oh, they should pay about 75% in taxes. They can afford it.”

            WR: You know, in 3 or 4 years, you and Mrs. Obama will be making at least a million.  Obama:  “Oh shucks! Well, we’ll buy new houses in Hawaii and New York and California so the mortgage deductions will knock down what we owe. I hope tuition at Harvard for our daughters will be deductible, too.”

           WR: A Japanese hostage was beheaded this week somewhere in the Middle East. Do you have any idea who did it? Obama: “We’re pretty sure it was terrorists.”

          WR: Could it have been Islamic terrorists? Obama: “Well, that would be unfair to the Muslim community. Those terrorists wear black, covered head to foot, and all you can see is their eyes. Who knows, it could be Coptic Christians, or even Israelis.”

          WR: You oppose the Keystone XL pipeline. I probably shouldn’t tell you, but they are planning big new pipelines in Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia. Any objection? Obama: “Really? Wow, I’ll call my EPA head and have her stop ‘em. Those things are dangerous, and contribute to Global Warming. That’s the biggest problem facing us, global warming.”

            WR: Thank you, Mr. President. I know this information will be appreciated by my readers. Both of them.


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