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Sunday, October 26, 2014 ISSUE #811
 

A billion here, a billion there = real money
            Last week the President was seething. Well, this week the rest of us are seething because we learned how the government wasted $25,000,000,000.

            Senator Tom Coburn published his annual “Wastebook” of federal expenditures that could probably be saved without risking our national security. Here are a few examples.

           The Pentagon gave someone a Billion dollars to destroy 16 Billion dollars’ worth of ammunition. Why? Don’t we have plenty of soldiers who would enjoy “destroying” it? Deer hunters would gladly accept a few rounds and destroy ‘em for nothing. And squirrel hunters and groundhog hunters and rabbit hunters, too. Speaking of rabbits, we spent thousands hiring some Swedish gals to give massages to rabbits. I guess that’s so they’ll be more relaxed when somebody is shooting at them.

          The National Institute of Health spent $370,000 to find out if mothers love dogs as much as they do their kids. Is that an insult to mothers? Or maybe their kids? If you want to learn something worthwhile, find out if men love their wives as much as football.

       The U.S. Dept. of Agriculture gave $50,000 to an alpaca rancher to package and sell the manure in something called Poop Paks.  And a company called Worm Power received $200,000 to buy compost. Put those together and we can save $250,000. Turn the worms loose in the alpaca pasture; they’ll thrive in that high class manure. After every rain you can go out and pick up a thousand dollars’ worth of worms.

       We’re spending $200,000 to send text messages to drunks, reminding them to drink responsibly. If a guy is half-drunk driving home from a bar, do you really want him to answer a text message?

        These government agencies claim any wasteful spending is only a tiny percentage of the total. To them it may be small potatoes, but for us taxpayers it adds up to $25 Billion.

        On Ebola, we got some good news with the two nurses cleared. But a doctor in New York City brought it back with him from Africa. The governors of New York and New Jersey and a couple other states announced none of these folks arriving from West Africa will be allowed to land there unless they are quarantined for 3 weeks. I think other governors should follow; make ‘em all land in DC and quarantine them in isolation at the White House. With golf and fund raising dinners, the President is never home anyway. Let these Ebola patients walk around on the White House lawn patrolling the fence. They would be scarier to intruders than guard dogs.  

       Next weekend I’ll be in Oklahoma celebrating birthday # 135 for Will Rogers. His birthday is Election Day, Nov. 4. Who knows, maybe I’ll run into Senator Coburn.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“I love a dog; he does nothing for political reasons.” DT #2288, Dec. 3, 1933

"Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like to watch both of 'em at play, either back home in their native state, or after they've been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington."


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